Trepidation

When I left on Sunday I had to spend 6 1/2 hrs on the plane, which left me lots of time to reflect. I am entering into a whole new lifestyle and career. Since taking this job Vicki has been very supportive, but I could see, and sense her discomfort. I reassured her this will not be that bad and could greatly improve things. Time will tell. Well during that time on the plane my anxiety grew and I was thinking what the hell have I done!! I am leaving my wife of 25+ years alone for 16 days!! To clarify my schedule, it is not exactly two weeks on, two weeks off. I will be gone for 16 days, and at home for twelve. Two of the 16 are travel days. With that in mind, I realize I am gone away for more than I am home, and my anxiety starts to rise. What have I done and why? Why?

Well I was burning out on my current job and it was affecting me greatly both emotionally and physically. I used to be busy writing HVAC programs for building systems that stirred my brain and creativity. I thrived and excelled at this and looked forward to my work. Rare for most people. My job was not work, but something that kept my brain alive. Well over the last 3+ years the work dried up and the future for me to do what I enjoyed was evaporating. My brain was dying and dragging me down. I was becoming depressed and it was affecting our (me and Vic) quality of life.  As the plane approached the Prince William Sound, I saw through the plane windows, three Glaciers spilling out into the Sound. I could feel my anxiety leaving. My brain it seemed, began to breath in fresh air. The sight of the magnificent, brightly glistening, blue glaciers stirred me. This new job is going to be for the better. I can once again become the person I was. My new job, experiences, and responsibilities intrigue me. Thus allowing me to be recharged and maximizing my time at home with my beautiful wife. Love you Vic!!